This is excellent advice:

April 21 2013
Avoid those who are on the road to destruction. Empathize with them and attempt to suggest ways in which they can pull themselves up from the rubble of their lives. But always stay the course and keep a steady distance from those who will attempt to bring you down, diminish you, and vandalize your heart and soul.

It is something I have a hard time remembering. I have a giving nature. I have a desire to help.

I do not protect myself. Really, ever, if I’m being completely honest. I don’t know how.

The word “doormat” may come to mind. I would argue that I am not so much a “doormat” as a “city dump”.

See, I tend to take responsibility for everything. Even if it is outside my control. And then I try to fix it. Even if it is outside my control. And then I agonize over it. Even if it is outside…well, you see the pattern here, right? I will let you do what you need to do, make excuses for you, fix it for you, and then forget that it was your problem to begin with…so therefore I will carry your baggage for you for the rest of my life while you get to go on and live scott free.

It’s über healthy. I know. And, I am desperately trying to break that cycle of behavior.

Because, clearly, I’d be better off.

And making myself smaller does not make anyone else bigger. It just gives away my joy.

I have to tell you, that’s been in pretty short supply lately…so I’m going to start getting pretty selfish with that right about now.

If any of this resonates with you, may I suggest you do the same?

Not that I’m trying to fix you or anything 😉

 

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3 thoughts on “

  1. I completely agree. This is Excellent advice 🙂 Sometimes we catch ourselves wanted to help others and bring them out of a dark place. Which is not bad if you can remain stable and not go too deeply into that dark space with them to get trapped.

    • And then there are those I want to help who do not want the help and I lose all the work I’ve done by reaching out… I love how this says “vandalize your heart and soul” because I truly feel that.

      • I agree. I’ve been in several tough spots were I have over extended myself and resources to help someone, only to discover that they didn’t want a hand up, but a hand out. It has damaged my heart in many ways, so I keep to myself more or less now.

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