Two Years Later

Well…it’s been two years since I’ve been back here. And I reread a lot of what I posted. And a lot of your comments. And I wanted to say thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you for being there for me. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. And that’s the truth.

Two years went really quick. And I did a lot of living during that time. A lot of growing. A lot of trial and error. A lot of tears. A lot of laughs. A lot of life.

And, I’m ready to talk again. I’m ready to write again. I’m ready to find the humor in the every day happenings of my life and share them again.

But I can’t do it here.

This place…though cathartic and healing…still belongs to her. The old me. The lost wife. The shattered soul longing for her husband to come home. And she, well, though she is someone I greatly respect and admire for her ability to allow me to become, she needs to stay here. So I can live.

So…come along. Come with me and see what amazing awkwardness is in store as I figure out how to live my new life. www.megnificentlyawkward.com is where you’ll find me.

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Goodbye, and thank you.

It’s over.

And, it truly is not you. It’s me. Totally, utterly, completely me.

I can’t come back here any more.

I can’t look back any longer. I can’t analyze. I can’t dissect. I can’t examine. There is nothing left to see.

I won’t do it. More importantly, I don’t want to.

I want to go back to living my life looking forward. To dreaming about the future. Analyzing, dissecting, and examining the possibilities. And I don’t want to invite him along. And, I can’t take you. Because you are tied to him.

I know it’s different for everyone. Some people can look in all directions at once. Some people can meld the past and the future.

But, I’m different. I need a clean break. I’m not who I was when I started this journey. This blog belongs to another woman. A woman that I no longer recognize.

She is me. But I am no longer her. And, like my old life, she is of the past. And all the pain and suffering? All that needs to stay here.

Because there is no room for any of that in my life now. My life is full. Of good things. Of GREAT things. And I am going to be exceedingly selfish about who and what I allow in.

So, goodbye Meg, who was his wife. You really were a wonderful wife. You were dealt a shit hand. You didn’t deserve it. Life rarely works in the way that people get what they really deserve, both good and bad. I truly want to thank you for paving the way for me. I will never forget what you did for me. I will always be thankful that you were strong enough to create me.

But, I have to leave you here.