And, it truly is not you. It’s me. Totally, utterly, completely me.
I can’t come back here any more.
I can’t look back any longer. I can’t analyze. I can’t dissect. I can’t examine. There is nothing left to see.
I won’t do it. More importantly, I don’t want to.
I want to go back to living my life looking forward. To dreaming about the future. Analyzing, dissecting, and examining the possibilities. And I don’t want to invite him along. And, I can’t take you. Because you are tied to him.
I know it’s different for everyone. Some people can look in all directions at once. Some people can meld the past and the future.
But, I’m different. I need a clean break. I’m not who I was when I started this journey. This blog belongs to another woman. A woman that I no longer recognize.
She is me. But I am no longer her. And, like my old life, she is of the past. And all the pain and suffering? All that needs to stay here.
Because there is no room for any of that in my life now. My life is full. Of good things. Of GREAT things. And I am going to be exceedingly selfish about who and what I allow in.
So, goodbye Meg, who was his wife. You really were a wonderful wife. You were dealt a shit hand. You didn’t deserve it. Life rarely works in the way that people get what they really deserve, both good and bad. I truly want to thank you for paving the way for me. I will never forget what you did for me. I will always be thankful that you were strong enough to create me.
But, I have to leave you here.